Running the Gauntlet
by Gulldara
Summary: James Potter, in a last ditch attempt to woo Lily Evans writes her a letter, promising that he'll leave her alone if she doesn't respond. He's hopeful, but this quickly dissipates as the train journey home comes to a close with no sign of Lily. LJ, eventu
1. Drunken Realisations

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing

**A/N:** Running the Gauntlet is something that I started writing many months ago, but have never posted. So here it is, based ever so slightly on William Shakespeare's Two Gentlemen of Verona.

**Drunken Realisations**

****

It was almost six years since Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had first been graced with the presence of James Potter and Sirius Black. They had instantly hit it off on their first meeting on the Hogwarts Express, and had been best friends ever since. They were the most attractive, charming and intelligent troublemakers that Hogwarts had ever seen. They were the ringleaders of the "Marauders" - a gang of Gryffindor sixth years that aimed to cause trouble wherever they went.

Their charm and stunning good looks attracted flocks of girls from across the school. The girls didn't exactly follow them around, but would always be there at the end of Quidditch practice, or flirting as they demonstrated new products from Zonko's. Succumbing to such attention earned them reputations, and everything that came with one- the good _and_ the bad. But who could blame them, really? Who were they to pass up the opportunity of a good snog? Or, if they were lucky, a shag?

Clearly, they never had any problems with getting girls to go out with them. _Most_ girls swooned in their arms if they so much as _glanced_ in their direction. The fact was they had just about everything going for them. So one may wonder exactly _why_ the most popular male figures at Hogwarts chose to spend a summer evening in the unhealthy surroundings of the Hogs Head, drowning sorrows over shot glasses of Firewhisky.

What is important to remember, of course, is the fact that nobody is perfect. Everybody, no matter how perfect their lives may seem, has problems. Whether they chose to conceal their issues or to show them is another matter. James and Sirius favoured the former; opting to hide their uncertainties under façades of perfection from everybody, save for each other.

The trouble Sirius was attempting to drown was, for the most part, the fact he couldn't hold a relationship down for much longer then a week. No girl he dated, he complained, held any mysterious aspect to them, no secrets, no uniqueness to keep his interest. He simply got bored of the same experience again and again, and was worried he would never find anyone to settle down with.

James' problem, however, wasn't that he couldn't hold a girl down. In contrast, he preferred long term relationships to short, meaningless ones. His problem was the fact he couldn't get a particular girl to go out with him, a girl he happened to be madly in love with, a girl he was convinced had the certain _je ne sais quoi_ that Sirius couldn't find in any of his girlfriends. He had tried everything that he could think of to try and convince her to go out with him, but nothing had worked so far, and he was getting to a point of desperation.

The Hogs Head was crowded, but not with the law-abiding citizens you would find in the Three Broomsticks. Every now and then the door would swing open, emitting someone who would look round shiftily before pushing through the crowd to get to another part of the bar. The smell of stale beverages polluted the air - to anyone who was new to the environment, it was overpowering. The only noise in the pub was a murmur of whispers, the clientele choosing to conduct their conversations in private, rather than share them with the whole pub. That is, apart from two _very_ drunk students.

"'S not fair!" James exclaimed, clumsily pouring another shot into his glass. Sirius, who was slouched into his chair, nodded slightly, before leaning foreword and seizing the bottle up off the table.

"Tell me about it," he grumbled, his dark hair falling into his eyes. Irritated, he brushed it out of the way, and then poured the contents of his glass down his throat. It left a pleasant burning sensation trailing down to his stomach. "Hey, Prongssy…" Sirius slurred, after a few moments of silence, "what do you think about _love_?"

James looked up from the glass he had been staring at, his glasses nearly falling off the end of his nose. He ran a hand through his hair and screwed up his face, thinking. "Love? I dunno, 's quite possible, i'n'it? To fall in love an' that shit … at least if the girl you wanted to go out with, wen' out with you."

Sirius snorted. "You fink you 'ave problems? Jus' look at me. I can't even go out with a gal fer a week! How'm I meant to find love if I can't even stay in a rel - rela'ship?" he asked, the drink clearly affecting him much more then he though it was.

"Maybe you'll find someone one of these days Padfoot an' you'll just fink 'wha' the hell' an' chase after 'er. It's impossible never to love someone in your life. There 'as to be someone out there tha' you'll find int'resting," said James, gesturing wildly with his arms.

"Maybe I will. An' maybe you'll finally convince Evans to go out with you. When that happens, there's hope for me!" Sirius said with a smirk.

James, who had been downing a mouthful of Firewhisky, glared. "Shurup!" he exclaimed, rather belatedly, causing Sirius to break into laughter. "I'm goin' to buy ano'ver drink," James muttered, staggering to his feet and making for the bar.

An hour or so later, Sirius poured the last of yet another bottle into the two glasses. "I fink this is the perfec' time to tell you Prongss…" he announced, "that I, Sirius Black, have bought a flat in Hogsmeade!"

"'Bout time as well! Now I can get some peace and quiet!" James replied, with the air of one who had been waiting for him to make the announcement for a long time. Sirius hit him playfully.

"Not quite Prongsh, I'll still be visiting you regularly for food an' … an' … stuff." He trailed off lamely before tipping the contents of his glass down his throat.

"Oh no you won't Padfoot my friend. _I_ will be coming to see _you_."

* * *

At closing time they were practically thrown out by the bartender. Drunkenly, they staggered through the streets of Hogsmeade towards Hogwarts castle, not caring if a teacher saw them - it wasn't as if the teacher was going to give them a detention on the day they went home, was it? Luckily there appeared to be no one wondering around the school at that late hour beside themselves.

The common room was crowded. As it was the last day of term, many had decided to use up left over Filibuster fireworks, dungbombs and sweets. Heads turned automatically as James and Sirius entered raucously. It was obvious that they were drunk, much to the amusement of many students. Others however, including the Head Girl, were less amused. She stalked over to them and stood her hands on her hips, in front of them.

"Where is it?" she asked in a dangerously low voice, her eyes no more then slits.

Sirius composed himself, drawing himself to his full height. "Where is what, my beautiful Sarah?" he asked charmingly, making James laugh. She glared at them both.

"The alcohol! You're absolutely pissed out of your heads. Where did you get it from?" she demanded.

"Tut, tut, did Sarah just swear?" James said with mock horror, to the laughter of many people nearby. "Now that isn't setting an example, is it?" he continued smugly.

Sarah let out a small noise of frustration. "And I'm sure _you'd_ know all about that, wouldn't you? Coming in at one in the morning, reeking of alcohol! A fine example you're setting! Both of you disgust me!"

"Do you think I'm disgusting?" Sirius asked James, batting his eyelashes.

"Not at all. In fact if I were gay, I'd date you myself!" James said dramatically. "But, unfortunately Siri, I'm not…"

"You two are impossible. Why don't you just grow up! There are things more important in the world then the two of you! Just because you two are so perfect doesn't mean the rest of us are!" she snapped. "I am warning you, one more snide comment out of your mouths and I'll put you in an early morning detention!"

Sirius and James both saluted her as she stormed off, before laughing heartily. Sirius wiped his eyes. "Brilliant! Excellent Prongs! 'Tut, tut, did Sarah just swear?' I almost wet myself trying not to laugh," he said, clapping James on the back in congratulations.

"I know, I know," James said, a satisfied smile on his face. In good spirits, they made their way up the boys' staircase, ignoring the many calls for them to stay awhile.

As they entered their dormitory they found both Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin sitting on their trunks, a game of chess balanced on their knees. Remus looked torn between amusement and disgust at the sight of them. Sirius collapsed onto his bed, pulling the covers over his head, and with a muffled "G'night" went straight to sleep.

James too made for his bed, yawning and rumpling up his hair. However, he could not fall to sleep. He tried in vain to calm all the random thoughts drifting through his head - which felt as light as air. James had trained himself to have a higher tolerance of alcohol than Sirius.

He had told various people it was for his own good. He didn't want to get so drunk one night he didn't know what he was doing. Others believed it was just an excuse to drink alcohol. They weren't wrong.

Lying on his bed, he came up with a solution to his problem. James decided that, as a final attempt to get Lily Evans, his unobtainable girl, to go out with him, he would write her a letter. Yes, it made perfect sense! With a letter she couldn't storm off, she couldn't slap or hit him, nor could she shout. If a letter didn't work … nothing would, he might as well give up altogether. It wasn't a half-bad idea, he thought happily, taking out the necessary equipment to write a letter.

Half an hour later James straightened up looking particularly pleased with himself. "Wormtail!" he called, gesturing Peter over to him as he rolled up the parchment. Peter hurried over to him, his round face shining with delight. James handed the roll of parchment to him.

"Take that to Evans for me," he commanded. Peter nodded, heading towards the door and the spiral staircase that lay beyond. All James had to do now was wait …

Peter came back looking particularly apprehensive, glancing uneasily at James as he closed the door shut behind him. "Well?" James asked impatiently.

"I - I h - had to give it to McKinnon - she said she would give it to her though!" he added hastily at the look on James's face.

"You mean she didn't read it?" Peter nodded slowly, swallowing nervously. "Well that's no good! You are such an idiot Wormtail," James announced, glaring at Peter before yanking the hangings closed round his bed. He turned over, burying his face into his pillow. She had to reply … she just _had_ to. It was, after all, a last act of desperation that Sirius was sure to laugh at in the morning, even if he did have a hangover.


	2. A Letter of Difference

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**A Letter of Difference**

****

It was late, and Lily Evans was waiting up for her best friend. The other girls in the dormitory were fast asleep, their hangings closed. Lily sighed and looked around the bare room bitterly. Her parents were backpacking in Peru during the first two weeks of the summer holidays, leaving their daughters behind. Petunia was allowed to stay at home with piece and quiet to sort out her 'wedding plans', but Lily was being left in the care of her Aunt Marigold. Lily was not happy about the arrangements, not happy at all. This year's summer holidays were going to be worse then usual. True, Petunia had gone out of her way, in previous summer holidays, to make them as miserable as possible, but her mother's sister had an unrelenting dislike for her.

Marlene McKinnon was taking her time returning to the dormitory, the letter in her hands the reason why. Lily wasn't in the best of moods and a letter from James was certainly not going to help. It was best to leave it for the time being, there was no way of knowing how Lily would react. She pocketed it and started up the spiral staircase.

"Hello Lily," she said cheerfully as she entered the dormitory.

"What took you so long?" was the disgruntled reply.

Marlene shook her head and sighed. "I couldn't find Gerard anywhere." She bit her lip.

"Oh. Well that's … er … bad?"

"Definitely."

"Well, did you ask anybody?" Lily said, trying to be helpful.

Marlene nodded. "I asked Thomas where he was and he said he _didn't know_. Good load of use that fat bastard is," she murmured. There was a moment of silence before: "Damn it! Why can't anything ever be simple in my life?"

Marlene's boyfriend, Gerard, was a seventh year Gryffindor. It made things slightly more complex, especially now he was leaving and Marlene still had an entire year left.

"Oh well, you'll see him on the train won't you? Or tomorrow at breakfast?" Lily said bracingly, trying her best to condole her friend as best she could.

"I guess." Marlene gave a heavyhearted sigh, flopping down onto her bed. "And what about you, who's taken your interest lately?" she inquired, a grin returning to her face. Lily pulled a face in the mirror, turned and faced her friend, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"No one really, they all look the same as they did last week. Although you never know, one of the first years next year might be an eighteen year old in disguise," she shrugged, sitting on the end of Marlene's bed. Marlene snorted.

"You can hope. It won't happen though. Or _maybe_ …" she suggested in a moment of optimism, "there will be a transfer student?" Lily shook her head.

"I doubt anyone would venture into the country at the moment, what with You-Know-Who on the rise and more and more people disappearing each day. Unless he attacked Beauxbatons, but I still think a transfer student is highly unlikely," Lily said sadly.

"Yeah, you're right. You do know you are allowed to stay at mine during the day whenever you want," Marlene said with a small smile. Lily nodded.

"Yes, I do, thanks … expect me on the first day," she said grimily, before laughing.

"Where were we?" Marlene questioned, "Oh yeah. So who do you think would qualify as boyfriend material?" she said, sitting up and crossing her legs.

"I dunno, give me some names and I'll tell you what I think," Lily said yawning.

"Jorn Wright?"

"The Ravenclaw seeker? Um, well, he's okay. Not exactly reliable is he? With all those Quidditch practices he goes to."

"Okay then … how about, Giles Rafferty?" Lily's face remained blank. "You know … tall, blonde hair, Hufflepuff?"

"Oh! I know who you're on about! Didn't his Dad have an affair with a Muggle?" Marlene nodded.

"Yeah. The Muggle woman and his wife became friends, y'know. How weird is that?"

"Pretty weird. Seems he's got enough trouble in his life with out adding me to his problems." Marlene nodded again and wrinkled her nose in thought looking for the next potential boy that could suit Lily's tastes.

"How about Charlie Lachlan? He seems pretty interested in you at the moment."

Charlie Lachlan was one of those people you couldn't fault - at least not in public. His parents knew nothing of the life he led at Hogwarts, as far as they knew he studied hard and got exceedingly good grades. The latter he did, though how, no one knew. He was always hosting parties in the Hufflepuff common room, and he usually had some kind of addictive substance on him. He had perfect manners in his parents company, but alone or at school was a completely different matter.

"No. I don't think so somehow," she replied shortly.

"How about Potter then?" Marlene said trying to hide her laughter.

"I don't like Potter, why would you even consider him?" Lily snapped defensively, fighting not to turn pink.

It wasn't that she didn't find James Potter attractive. It wasn't even the fact he was popular that put her off him. It was the fact he achieved everything so easily. It annoyed her how he could spend most of a lesson asleep but still be able to answer a question when asked by a professor, and how he managed to have time to relax when everyone else was working themselves a sweat trying to revise for exams and tests. She worked hard to get her grades, like everyone else and therefore felt that when James Potter matched or surpassed her that he didn't deserve to - he didn't work half as hard as she did. He didn't get punished for it, so consequently she had to punish him herself, taking him down a notch or two whenever the chance arose.

However, she was beginning to waver under her conscience. It wasn't exactly fair, punishing him for the way he was, not liking him just because he could do all of the things she couldn't … She began doubting whether she truly hated him, after all, nothing else about him really bothered her …

"I don't know … oh yeah, I have something for you." Marlene reached inside the pocket and withdrew a slightly crumpled roll of parchment, handing it to her.

Lily studied it for a second before looking up at her sceptically. "What is this meant to be?"

"A letter from Potter. Surely you recognise the little flourish of your name?" Marlene said with a snort of laughter. Lily nodded, biting her lip.

If she read it in front of Marlene she would end up giving away the fact that she may have feelings for him, if she didn't read it - and ripped it up - then it would reaffirm, at least to Marlene, that she still hated him. Lily didn't think she could bare the fact that she may have been wrong about James and telling her best friend was like telling a sieve to keep water in it. She didn't want to be pressured into to telling Potter she was wrong, and if she confined in Marlene that was sure to happen. Either that or Marlene would tell him for her.

"A letter from Potter only serves one purpose," Lily said, forcing a faint smirk. "To litter the floor in shreds." Taking a deep but silent breath, Lily tore the letter up into tiny pieces and dropped them on the floor. Marlene laughed and glanced at her wristwatch.

"I think I'm going to call it a night," she said, stifling a yawn and stretching out on her bed. Lily smiled lazily and nodded.

"Yeah. I think it's time I did as well. Wake me up tomorrow morning," she added, crossing over to her own bed and collapsing into the covers as if to go to sleep.

She closed her eyes, listening hard to Marlene's breathing. Eventually after a surprisingly long ten minutes, which seemed more like ten hours to Lily, Marlene started snoring as usual - a sure sign that she was asleep. Lily sat up slowly, glancing over at her best friend. She found her wand and pointed it at the spot where the pieces of parchment had fallen to the floor.

"Accio," she whispered, seconds latter the pieces of parchment were in the safe confines of her hands. She looked around, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. It wasn't as if she was doing anything wrong. All she wanted to do was see what he had written to her … she could easily play it off and pretend she wanted to use it as blackmail if he ever tried to pull another stunt on her.

She closed the hangings round her bed as an extra precaution; she didn't want anyone waking from the light of her wand. She muttered the '_Reparo_!' and was highly annoyed when it failed to work. After several more failed attempts it left Lily with the tedious job of piecing the letter back together piece by piece.

She was soon wishing she hadn't shredded it into so many pieces; she was still up well past three in the morning putting the pieces together as best she could by the thin light of her wand. Her eyes were drooping and she felt as if she could have dropped off to sleep at any point, but she wasn't going to do that and waste all the time she had spent putting it back together.

She raised her wand to give herself a better light to read by and even then it was difficult to make out the words where the pieces were joined together.

_Lily,_

_I know all you'll want to do is rip this up when you see whom it's from, but just wait until you've heard me out, okay?_

_I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry for being the arrogant, bullying, toerag that I am. I'm sorry that my head's inflated. I'm sorry that you'll never see me as anything else. The list could go on, I'm aware of that fact but that's not the point._

_The point is that I am sincerely sorry that who I am doesn't meet your requirements. However, I do believe it's pretty hard to change who you are just like that. I will, and can never be, anyone else but the James Potter you know and detest. _

_Yet I have changed, matured- whatever you want to call it. McGonagall recently asked me if I would consider tutoring some of the younger students in Transfiguration next year. After considering, I accepted. A year ago I wouldn't have given it a second thought. You know that as well as I do. I would have probably thought it would interfere too much with Quidditch practises or something equally self-concerning._

_I know there's nothing that I can do to change your opinion on me, unless I change myself for your liking. Or maybe-maybe _you_ will take the time to get to know me properly?_

_Just think about it. I'm not asking you to Hogsmeade, I'm asking you to spend sometime with me, on your own terms. Perhaps you'll have a change of heart or something, see me in a different light. It's really all down to you._

_If you do and you still don't like me then-then I promise I won't bother you again- for the remainder of Hogwarts. And if you don't then the same applies. I only hope you do give me the time of day._

_James_

Fatigued, she collected the pieces together and shoved them into her robe pocket. She slipped back under the covers, pulling them round her tightly before whispering '_Nox_' to extinguish the light from her wand. Maybe she'd find James tomorrow and tell him that she did see him in a different light … she would have to admit it sooner or later, people were bound to start noticing soon.

* * *

She was woken by Marlene shaking her, not one of the most pleasant ways of waking up. She groaned and rolled over, burying her head into her pillow, trying to ignore Marlene's lecture that she was going to miss the train back to platform nine-and-three-quarters.

Eventually, fed up of Marlene whining at her, she got out of bed sourly and headed for the Girls' bathrooms for a quick shower to wake her up. She dressed quickly, as Marlene started to criticise her for her lack of organisation in the mornings.

"Lay off, would you? If you had to spend two weeks in the - the fires of hell, you wouldn't be too keen to leave your sanctuary, would you?" she said crossly, doing up the laces on her trainers.

"I guess not. I'm just excited to be seeing my family again. You know I haven't seen them for a year due to … well, you know."

Marlene hadn't been home once during the school year because of her family's involvement in the fight against You-Know-Who. They had thought it too dangerous for her to be at home with no one to look after her, especially in these dangerous times. For the summer holidays, with Marlene turning of age they had grudgingly told her in several letters that she would be allowed to stay at home as long as Lily came round. Marlene had been worried she would have to stay at somewhere like the Potters' (who were good friends with her own parents) - which definitely would not have suited her, especially since getting Lily to come round would have been a problem …

They made their way down to breakfast in near silence, Lily not feeling in any mood to talk. She put a hand into the pocket of her robe and felt her fingers come into contact with the pieces of parchment from last night. She stiffened slightly, her mind racing in panic … what if one of the pieces fell out? What if Potter played one of his stupid little pranks and turned her upside down? What if it had been one of his pranks? It had certainly been different from any other attempt he had made at getting her to go out with him. Or maybe … no, she was being stupid; he wouldn't upset her like that …

The Great Hall was full of chattering students. Lily scanned the Gryffindor table for any sign of the Marauders; to her surprise, none of them were anywhere to be seen.

Biting into her toast, Lily was having an internal battle. She knew she would have to ditch her façade towards Potter sooner or later … the problem was half of her wanted to get it over and done with as soon as possible, and other half wanted her to maintain a little dignity. Although she remembered her mother telling her once that people would respect others much more if they were big enough to admit something … and if she left it over the holidays, she might end up actually Apparating over to Potter's house (after passing her Apparating test, of course) and telling him, which would cause much embarrassment. She had no choice but to find him on the train and ask for a private word. Knowing Black, he'd probably be laughing his head off as she did, and she had the vague idea that she would end up losing her temper and not saying what she wanted to say.

All too soon it was time to get into the invisibly drawn carriages heading for the small station in Hogsmeade, where the gleaming red steam train would be waiting to take them back into the uncertain, uneasy and fighting real world.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you to **anniePADFOOT**, **Alex C. Potter**, **starburst1237**, **BelleBuckBeak **and **Godswake** for the reviews, very much appreciated :)

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